Wednesday, October 7, 2015

I knew I was living up to my impetuous reputation the day the tulip bulbs arrived


I've been breaking in a new pair of walking shoes this week – red suede. I'd thought about buying blue suede shoes, but then I should be walkin' in Memphis, instead of in Moscow. I came home one morning from a brisk turn around our neighborhood in time to see the letter carrier delivering a box to our front porch. If I needed a reminder that The Impetuous Gardener is an accurate name for my column, that box was all the evidence required. I felt the first twinge of alarm at the size of the carton and its many air holes. But, I assured myself, tulip and daffodil bulbs take up space, and there's probably a lot of packing material inside to protect them from damage during shipping. I stooped to pick up the box, couldn't lift it even an inch off the ground, and felt the little twinge morph fast into full-blown panic.
 
I bet that carton weighed more than Rags, my Old English sheepdog, and the pudgy Benjamin BadKitten combined. How many tulips and daffodils had I ordered? Did my husband and I commandeer --and plow – part of the neighbors' yard, to compete with the West Side tulip fields in northern Washington state? My immediate worry was how to lug that monster bulb box from the front porch all the way to the patio at the back of the house. (Pride and embarrassment stopped me from waiting until my husband came home to act as tulip transporter.)

I am a small person but possess a great deal of determination. After propping open the front and patio doors, I gulped extra air, flexed nonexistent muscles, and hefted that box as far as my hip. After huffing out a couple of brief, colorful phrases, I staggered through the living and dining rooms to the patio door. The Garden Goddess must have protected me from taking a header down the two steps from the dining room to the patio, because I certainly couldn't see around the carton to check my footing. I plunked the box onto the patio table and then opened it, to find every square inch stuffed with mesh bags of bulbs. I had ordered approximately six billion tulips in jewel and pastel colors, a “super sack” of naturalizing daffodils, and blue, purple and yellow crocuses to celebrate the arrival of spring.

Our gardens already include bulb beds, which I started digging when we moved to Moscow five years ago. This summer I added a flower bed in our front yard and imagined its winding paths framed with tulips and daffodils next April and May. I love creating beauty, in our home and in our yard. If seeing bright-petaled flowers brings passersby as much joy as the sight brings me, my own happiness multiplies. During the gardening months, I include a budget item for buying plants and bulbs – and got a great deal on the tulips and daffs I ordered. Now I have to imagine where the heck to plant the 12 billion bulbs in that box. I see many hours of spading soil in my immediate future, and my husband has offered to spend much of this weekend with our rototiller.
 
While I'm digging, I'm not sure I can count on my garden staffer to keep me company. Unfortunately, Tessa the Vague needs a bit more orientation: If she wants to go out to the patio, she waits for me to open the dining room door. (She also knows how to use the cat door, a major milestone, but that leads to the front yard.) Recently, when Tessa and I were in the laundry room, I opened its door, which also leads to the patio, and waited for Tessa to go outside. She paused at the threshold, studied the patio, and looked up at me with total confusion in her wide, vacant green eyes. From the door, she could see all the familiar landmarks on the patio, but the perspective was different. My chief garden executive believed I was trying to send her to Mars, and skittered away.

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