Wednesday, June 17, 2015

IF YOU GIVE A GARDENER A TOMATO PLANT….


June 4, 2011


During the winter, when we impetuous gardeners are most susceptible to fantasy, I ordered three tomato plants from my favorite catalog. These plants promised the true tomato-y flavor of the heritage Brandywine, the Italian cooking appeal of the San Marzano Gigante, and the just plain cool name of the Japanese Black Trifele. The selling point, for me, was that each variety had been grafted onto sturdy, reliable tomato plant stock. 

After my tomato triumph, I decided to take a final glance through the catalog, and ended up ordering seed packets. Many seed packets. Later, I bought more seeds from local nurseries here in north Idaho. Many more seeds.

The tomato plants arrived recently, and I realized that I had become a character in what should be a grownup edition of a popular set of children’s books. The first in the series, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, follows a little boy through an exhausting day of cleaning up the results of offering a mouse a cookie. The cookie leads to a request for an accompanying glass of milk – with a straw. Then a napkin, nail scissors, a broom, a place to take a nap – plus a naptime story with pictures. Which leads to the mouse’s need for paper and crayons, and then a demand to hang his original art on the refrigerator. Then the mouse gets thirsty again and asks for a glass of milk – and another cookie.

The story ends with the worn-out little boy sound asleep, surrounded by all the mess and chaos the mouse has created. And it all started with one impetuous act: offering a mouse a cookie. For me, it was ordering three tomato plants.

It’s June now, and my shimmery, winter garden-fantasy has turned all too clear in the late-spring sunshine. I have planted most of my flower seeds in two new garden beds: sweet peas, hollyhocks, sunflowers, and perennials. All I needed to do to create the new gardens was to dig up two long, narrow stretches of sod, break up the dirt clods, buy topsoil and compost, haul the big bags into the backyard, hand-mix the topsoil and compost into the newly dug beds, plant the seeds, and water thoroughly.

Almost forgot – I also had to buy and set up forty feet of sturdy, though decorative, knee-high fencing to deter a member of my garden staff (Rags, our Old English sheepdog) from bounding into the new planting beds during his daily nut-out around the backyard.

The flower seeds are coming up well along the fences. But now I still have vegetable seeds. And three tomato plants. Do you see where this is going?

To plant a vegetable garden this summer, all I’d have to do is clear out a large and scary jungle (there are blood-sucking bugs in there!) of dandelions, quack grass, branches, and weeds, as well as bushes and small trees. The lilacs in there would need transplanting to the west fence, so they wouldn’t block the vegetables from the sun. Also, a few volunteer maple trees need to be moved. And I couldn’t risk losing the vintage peonies by trying to transplant them now, so they’ll have to stay where they are.

Tomatoes need a lot of sun, so I’ll have to ask my husband to build raised beds for them, and for the corn, beans, lettuce, garlic, pumpkins, and raspberries. Oh—I’ll also have to move the mulch pile, shovelful by shovelful, because it’s smack in the middle of the raised beds’ site.

I’ll need at least one more hose, probably two, to extend out to the new garden for watering all the crops. Also, I’ll have to write reminders in my daily planner, because I won’t be able to see the vegetable garden from the backyard. Sometimes, for impetuous gardeners, it’s Out of Sight, Out of Mind, and I Forgot to Water the Tomatoes.

Because I was already worrying about the fate of my helpless tomatoes, I planted them in three big pots on our back patio. It’s sunny there, and the hose is nearby. With great optimism, I stuck a big honker of a tomato cage into each of the planters and am assuming my anemic little guys will grow green muscles over the summer and climb high up the rungs.

But what about the unplanted vegetable and pumpkin seeds, the unbought raspberry plants, the unbuilt raised beds, the unweeded jungle, the untransplanted lilacs, and the unrealistic gardener whose fantasy has grown impossible?

The Rozen vegetable and fruit crops will be a little late this year; look for them in 2012. With all this reality crashing down onto my head, I think I need a cookie – and a cup of tea to go with it. And maybe another tomato plant.

No comments:

Post a Comment