Thumbs down on backyard chickens and sheep, so my garden staff is not speaking to me

May 21, 2011

Even though all three members of my gardening staff are not speaking to me, at least I’m hopeful this week that spring has finally arrived. The sweet pea and hollyhock seeds I planted recently along our fence are sprouting. This is a small victory for all things green and growing, in a season where we saw snow – snow! – falling in our town on May 16.

Two of our newly planted apple trees are in bloom, and the other two are starting to leaf out nicely. The new Italian fig tree looks healthy, and my marriage is still intact. (A few days after my husband planted the apple trees, I mentioned that we also needed a bosc pear tree. Lee sighed and then winced at the lingering pain in his back and shoulders – a result of the apple-tree planting. Let’s wait to get a pear tree, he suggested. I agreed. But a few days later, I happened to stop at a local nursery and, suddenly, an Italian plum tree leaped into the back of my little SUV. Please note that we had agreed only to postpone buying a pear tree. There was no mention of Italian plum trees.)

My husband peered at me over the top of his glasses, sighed, and then smiled. So love still blooms at our house – but my staff is not speaking to me. Recently I wrote about my four-legged gardening assistants: Kaylee, our golden retriever; Rags, our Old English sheepdog, and Benjamin BadKitten, our Maine Coon cat and resident troublemaker.

Kaylee is giving me the silent treatment because I described her as elderly and referred to her “considerable bulk.” (Lee, a newsman for more than 40 years, assures me that truth is always a defense again a libel charge.) Benjamin BadKitten is upset because I would not sign up for a Backyard Poultry Class, sponsored by the local co-op. “In two short hours we will cover raising chickens, ducks and geese in a backyard setting,” the press release said. But if we brought a flock of chickens into our backyard with Benjamin on duty, in two short hours we would have a pile of feathers and a mess of chicken feet.

Rags is deeply unhappy because I would not attend a Backyard Sheep Workshop earlier this month in the co-op annex. “Learn about the joys and possibilities of raising sheep in your backyard or on your small property,” the press item said. To me, letting our sheepdog loose with a flock of sheep anywhere, but especially in our backyard, spells “slapstick comedy” rather than “joys.”

It’s lucky that my four-legged staff can’t speak English...or Latin. A former forestry college editor emailed me recently about the value of knowing the Latin names for vegetation. “Who can argue with the Latin of plant names? The understory vegetation in the Douglas fir habitat type is physocarpus malvaceous. Have you ever encountered a better swear word?” Imagine how hurt my feelings would be if Benjamin BadKitten suddenly ruffed up his fur and hissed, “You physocarpus malvaceous! I demand backyard chickens!” (Imagine how wealthy I’d be if my animals could actually talk….)

One of the many joys of living in this college town for amateur gardeners and bird lovers like me is the nearby Arboretum and Botanical Garden on the University of Idaho campus. A birder spent about two hours there recently and reported seeing 52 different species of birds. (Only professional editing standards prevented me from adding six or seven exclamation points to that sentence. I keep a line item in our monthly household budget for birdseed and suet.)

On a warm May morning, the birder spotted Canada geese, mallards, California quail, ring-necked pheasants, a Great Blue heron, an osprey, several varieties of hawks, an American kestrel, a killdeer, mourning doves, a great horned owl, Vaux's Swift (I’ll have to look up that bird,) a Calliope hummingbird, a downy woodpecker, northern flickers, two kinds of flying flycatchers, two varieties of Vireo (no clue what this looks like;) a few crows and a raven (I can’t tell the difference yet;) swallows, including two violet-green ones, chickadees, a red-breasted nuthatch, a house wren, ruby-crowned kinglets, starlings, warblers, spotted towhees, sparrows, a western tanager, grosbeaks, blackbirds, pine siskins, goldfinches, and – the bird I want most to find at our feeders – a lazuli bunting.

Blue flowers and blue birds are my weaknesses in the garden. No matter what color the birds and blossoms – or how mutinous my garden staff – an hour at the Arboretum and Botanical Garden can restore an impetuous spirit.